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Badvertising: BlackBerry, All You Need Is Love
Until now, there has always been a fundamental difference between iPhone users and BlackBerry users. And that was this – if you own a BlackBerry, you’re a serious, business-minded professional who favours practicality over aesthetic. And if you own an iPhone, you’re a smug ...
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Who Wants To Hear About Lindsay Lohan’s Potatoes?
It’s Thanksgiving! That means two things – nothing has happened today, and NOTHING HAS HAPPENED TODAY. Actually, that’s a lie. One thing has happened today. One scorching hot piece of news that’s likely to make you fall off your seat in utter astonishment. It’s ...
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CBS Blurs Out Adam Lambert’s Roving Man-Tongue
So Adam Lambert from AI kissed a man at the AMAs and GMA freaked out until CBS gave him some TLC. OK? Yes, that’s perfectly clear. Although Good Morning America had scrapped an Adam Lambert performance in the wake of the kiss, in case he suddenly went all gay and started bumming a ...
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SLACKERJACK – Katydid And Ant 3
We confess that we’re new to these Katydid And Ant games, but let’s make up for our lateness by being needlessly enthusiastic about them. Katydid And Ant 3 is amazing. All you do is flick through some screens, interact with stuff in various fiendish ways and then win. It’s cute, it’s ...
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Roman Polanski Swanks Off Back To His Alpine Retreat
This Roman Polanski thing is tricky, isn’t it? On one hand he’s been convicted for having unlawful sex with a child. Then again, Rosemary’s Baby was quite good. Oh, it’s such a dilemma! But at least the Swiss authorities know what to do with Roman Polanski – ...
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Amy Winehouse About To Make a Rare Poor Decision
Amy Winehouse has taken a rare wrong turn in her otherwise nondescript life. Thus far, her life has been about merry walks in the park on sunny days and staying as far away as she can from yucky things like crack. There has been a rumour going around the Webernets today that Amy Winehouse ...
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Jon Gosselin: Nope, Still Not Going Away
Right. Look. We know that just a few days ago we said that we’d written our final story about Jon and Kate Gosselin. Clearly that turned out to be a lie. But you’ve got to believe that we wanted it to be our final story about Jon and Kate Gosselin. Their divorce settlement was ...
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Adam Lambert: Now Far Too Gay For Good Morning America
It turns out that GMA stands for ‘Good Morning America’. Who knew – we always assumed it meant ‘Gay Men! Arousing!’ We were shocked too. But probably not as shocked as Adam Lambert . You see, Adam Lambert was due to perform on Good Morning America today, but the ...
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WEBTHUMP! 25 November 2009
10 – GO HERE NOW! A man’s about to fly across the Atlantic on a jetpack, and you can watch it here - Challenge 9 – Dogs. Dressed as bees. Read that again. DOGS DRESSED AS BEARS! Consider your mind BLOWN – Beedogs 8 - The worst I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of ...
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Donny Osmond Wins Dancing With The Stars! Donny Freaking Osmond!
So there’s Kelly Osbourne, Mya and Donny Osmond. One of them had to win Dancing With The Stars – but who? Not Kelly Osbourne. She’s disagreeable and she falls over a lot. And not Donny Osmond. He’s middle-aged, not as talented as the others and has too many teeth. So ...
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U2 Set To Bore Festival Goers At Glastonbury
Festivals are brilliant. Standing in fields, listening to music out of ropey speakers, complaining about being covered in mud and spending £10 on organic hemp burgers. Perfect. What you want for your money is a magical experience where you get to enjoy bands you like, discover weird stuff ...
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Terminator Salvation – Blu-ray Review
Thanks to some unfortunate incident called Charlie’s Angels , the regrettably named McG has been tarred with the same brush as his peers Brett Ratner and Uwe Boll. In fact, his handle on the Terminator story turned out to be a surprisingly decent entry into the muscular Arnie franchise.  ...
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SHOCK! Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart Go To Some Places Together
Now that New Moon is an unqualified success, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart carry on doing what they love best. And that’s schlepping around together looking genuinely miserable. This time, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have been seen together in New York, eating food and ...
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AMAs: Hang On, Is Adam Lambert Gay?
You know what’s probably the sexiest awards show moment ever? When Madonna tongue-kissed Britney Spears that time. Remember that? Hoo boy, that was sexy. Two girls going at it full tilt – what could be sexier than that? But you know what’s probably the least sexy awards ...
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SLACKERJACK – Yohoho Cannon
It’s a question we’ve been asking ourselves a lot lately – old-timey bearded pirate or modern-day Somalian pirate? It’s a difficult decision. One one hand, Somalian pirates have machine guns and both legs. But then again they don’t keep parrots or do anything more exciting than kidnap ...
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Jennifer Lopez Fell On Her Gigantic Bum On Purpose, Honest
So if Michael Jackson and Taylor Swift were the big winners at the American Music Awards, who were the losers? Well, Jennifer Lopez fell on her bottom at one point. So that means the big loser at the AMAs was… no, not Jennifer Lopez. We were going to say the structural integrity of the ...
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Michael Jackson Lives! Inside A Pregnant Woman From Sunderland!
That Michael Jackson, what a character. He barely went five minutes without getting into some sort of hilarious situation. If he wasn’t buying all sorts of ridiculous crap that he couldn’t afford, he was probably skidding around in monkey poo. People complain when we call him ...
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Top 20 Victoria’s Secret Models Of All Time
Victoria’s Secret? Well, it’s not really a secret at all. Want to sell some underwear? Just get some of the hottest women alive to prance around in it. It’s that simple. Seriously, stick Heidi Klum in an advert for anything and we would be at the front of the queue. Even if it is ...
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New Moon, Whatever That Is, Tops Weekend Box Office
Obviously when we saw New Moon , we mean The Twilight Saga: New Moon . Because that’s the film’s official title. Or we mean Omigod Omigod OMIGODDDD I TOTALLY JUST SAW EDWARD’S NIPPLES! SQUEEE! Because that’s what people who see the film are most likely to screech when ...
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Jon & Kate Gosselin Still Exist, Apparently
We’re thrilled to announce that this might just be the last thing we ever write about Jon and Kate Gosselin. The signs are certainly good. The last episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8 is broadcast tonight. Jon and Kate Gosselin have thrashed out a surprisingly amicable divorce settlement. ...
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